It’s not write, but it’s OK.

Time heals all wounds. Slowly. Apart from a slash to the comedy jugular, which I’m sure this post will suffer from. There’s nothing nicer than celebrating your birthday in a way that only you know will work. And thanks to the support (and downright pressure) from close friends; I’m living my birthday dream. You might know that over the past couple of weeks I’ve been slightly nomadic, schlepping from place to place, country to country and more recently hotel to hotel.

I could now give out stars in this town, so many of their rich and verdant sleeping establishments I have visited. 

Let me run you though some highs – and lows.

Highs: 

There are no rooms like the Playhouses at Soho House New York. This time I’ve discovered that the shower has a ‘Mr. Steam’ function, and just shy of setting of the smoke alarms, I cranked it up and opened my pores.

The argument proving that to order Chicken Noodle Soup from the Millenium Hilton at 1.29am when the cut off is at 1.30 the ended in mutual multiple hang-ups.

The joy of the roof top bar at 60 Thompson, possibly the most beautiful rooftop bar in the world. 

The ecstasy of the breakfasts at the Gild Hall Hotel (brand spanking new downtown) and being informed that it had taken more time than it should because they couldn’t poach the eggs without breaking them.

 

The Lows:

No matter how high your floor, when you stay in a hotel that overlooks the World Trade Center site, you can’t help wondering if the foundations were damaged on that dreadful day. And by high I mean 54th floor.

The fucking bastard xylophone player (barely a musician) who would not stop until 2am on West Broadway meaning windows remained closed (a pet hate)

The paradox of wondering if you’re lonely and simultaneously enjoying the whole king sized, Frette linen’d bed to yourself.

 

So, in closing on this ‘lighthouse/corner turned’ post, I’ve hotel’d the fuck out of it. And I’m proud of me for doing so.  Happy sodding birthday.

Another year… another oyster.

So, cast your mind back to May 8th. That’s the night before the ‘Epic Trip’ began. But I’m not sure we’ve talked much about it. It was the beard’s birthday and for his birthday I had booked an epicurean feast for those who are passionate about LSOS (Little Shells Of Snot) – or Oysters as they are more commonly known.

Batia joined us for a SUMPTUOUS dinner at the Grand Central Oyster Bar, deep in the bowels of the station and a New York Classic. Ben’s face lit up as we approached (not just because of the self-tanning) and he looked as excited to be there as I did to be there with him.

Shortly after Batia arrived, looking PRECISELY like your best dream of Chanel – in delicate layers, precise quilting and hair as sleek as it was raven. Stunning frankly.

Nearly as stunning as the nigh on 30 oysters that Ben pretty much consumed on his own with a face of such abject delight that I could cast aside any thoughts for his poor insides.

An experience is often worth more than a gift, and this experience with some very special people was both a wonderful birthday present for him – and a great parting memory before my big old tour.

Sublime.

The Harmonica

Abby is here (of Tom and Abby fame: hosts of fine weddings, bringers of warmth, comedy and wit, and all round ‘good people’).

It’s Abby’s birthday today so, obviously Ben is dancing, I’m still peeling my eyes open whilst diverting my anger from Ben’s morning joy and Abby is opening presents gaily, something I would always want to do but know I would forget.

One of these presents is a delightful harmonica. Sweet Joy, just one toot on that little chad filled bar of musical ecstasy reminds me of those classic deep south traits, namely begging, rape and incest.

I just know it’s going to be a joyous day!

My sister’s vegan birthday cake.

I’ve been in New York for just shy of 2 years now and both of those years my sister has sent me pictures of her birthday cake; which was yesterday.

There’s nothing wrong with that you might think, but she’s vegan, therefore each cake is masterpiece of culinary crafting, with absolute care and attention given to ensuring each and every ingredient is careful screened for any rogue meat or dairy based ingredients.

I think Holley has truly cracked it this year. Happy birthday sister, love you lots as ever.